BON JOVI

In one sense this page isn't that unusual: there are other Bon Jovi reviews on the internet. Furthermore there are sites that have almost complete collections. No, this page is unusual because, unlike the others, I am a Bon Jovi fan. Yes, I really, really like Bon Jovi. I don't want to overstate the point but I have quite a pompous opinion regarding music, often dismissing popular bands as "bad art". Now I'm not going to go making any silly statements and suggesting Bon Jovi are also great artists. I'm perfectly able to admit Bon Jovi will not go down in the history books along side the likes of Bob Dylan, Miles Davis, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Shakespeare, etc. as humanity's greatest artists. Hell, I'll even admit, objectively, Nirvana are a better band (although not by very much). I just want to make sure Bon Jovi receive their due.

And this, ladies and gents, is their due: If you are not a fan of stadium rock in general, if you dismiss the lot of it as crass, moronic rock music without artistic ambitions much exceeding bragging about their sexual conquests then I won't refute your position. I am perfectly willing to admit there isn't much real "art" involved and I don't receive much more than basic pleasures from listening to it. If, however, you are a fan (or at least part-time admirer) of stadium rock, often enjoying the likes of early Van Halen, seventies' Aerosmith or Appetite for Destruction and you still wish to dismiss Bon Jovi then, sirs, we have our disagreement. You see, Bon Jovi are not much worse than any of the afore-mentioned bands. Sure, they lose points for originality (especially in comparison with Aerosmith and Van Halen) but they could still rock with the best of them. Indeed, Bon Jovi are the only stadium rock band I still listen to with any frequency, which I put down to their winning ability to nail melodic rock to a tee. Some of the most melodic stadium rock songs have come from the pens of Bon Jovi, certainly more so than Van Halen. Of course, that is the one area in which Bon Jovi were pioneers - the very best pop-metallers. I suggest, though, that if you can bear the overwhelming cheesiness of it all you will find yourself singing along to the most infectious of melodies. I realise Bon Jovi are also famous for taking in a songwriting svengali (Desmond Child) to give them their hits but this is often dismissed as a dependency which simply isn't true. Some of Jovi's most endearing songs have been entirely self-penned ("Always", for a start) which is also evidence that front-man Jon Bon Jovi is a somewhat underrated talent. People hark on about looks and pop-marketing but behind the winning smile is a man of modest ability. He might be an utter buffoon but he at least has an inkling of an ear for a melody and, dare I say it, sometimes his lyrics are actually MORE intelligent than his contemporaries (the nineties material, in particular). Guitarist Ritchie Sambora is also somewhat underrated but it actually appears that most people are prepared to give him his dues so he now holds the paradoxical position of being a "famously underrated" guitarist.

So, in short, Bon Jovi are a perfectly decent stadium rock band unfairly knocked down by rock fans on account of their commercial marketing campaigns which are, truth be told, mostly based on the frontman's undoubted good looks. "Girls' music", they all say. "Bollocks to that", I say. They aren't really great art, however. I'd also like to mention that I saw them live in the summer of 2001 in the Huddersfield Alfred McAlpine Stadium in what was perhaps the best gig I've seen to date. Now I've seen my share of golden oldies (Bob Dylan, Arthur Lee) as well as contemporary cutting edge bands (the Vines, Icarus Line, ...Trail of Dead, etc.) and I honestly think none of them tops the stadium rock experience that I enjoyed in the company of Jon Bon and the boys. Actually, if you're itching for a bit of stadium rock action they are probably one of the few vintage stadium rock bands that have still got "it". Anyway, Bon Jovi are not great artists or even a particularly great band. They are, however, not just for the girls.

From: Josh Stead

Although i like your site and have alot of respect for your opinions as it is obvious you know your rock music inside out. But i cant work out what the Bon Jovi part of the site is about, Im 17 years old and Ive just discovered Bon Jovi and i must say i love their music. You say your a fan of theres but all you do is criticise them, and to say Jon Bon jovi is not very talented is in my opinion just plain stupid. This man is a great performer, has a great voice, has great passion, can play the guitar and harmonica, a good strong songwriter. And according to you he dosent have much talent. I know they make love songs, and jon uses his good looks to the fullest extent, but havent all rock stars used some method to sell more records. And how is this man an utter buffoon, what about Axl Rose, Although G n'R are a top group, Axl is an arrogant idiot. I keep feeling as though i should be ashamed for liking Bon Jovi which really irritates me. When they are a damn good rock group. Anyway ive had my say, i like the site. Butt i just get a bit tired of the constant Bon Jovi Disses. Anyway i like the site and youve done a great job with it.

From: Jim Zelko

When it comes to Bon Jovi your remarks are way off. Sure they play on Jon's looks and write sappy songs, but they are there to entertain and we like what they put out. You said they weren't as good as Dylan, the man is incoherent and he isn't even close in the following that BJ has. I compare Bon Jovi to Wal-mart, great product and service for less then what others charge. They are at least 1 of the greatest live bands of all time and certainly a solid studio band.

From: Charlie Millan

Hello, I'm 16 year old teenager, and have been committed to the band for about 2 years now, since i heard their song "Its My Life". I then listened to a few of my friends dads songs from his Bon Jovi collection and was totally hooked from then. I must say Jack i totally agree with you, by saying that Jon Bon Jovi, is beyond looks - he is a fantastic writer and singer also, and i dont think he gets the great acclaim he deserves. A marvellous voice he has in that, the power and dominance and feel with that grussly backing really i must say overrides the voices of Aerosmith and Phin Lizzie. Some examples of his writing skills - The Young Guns II inspired Albums, huge hits in "Blaze Of Glory", "Santa Fe", "Billy Get Your Guns" and "Dying aint much of A Living", are only signs of a master class individual. Not taking anything away from the rest of the guys, Rich, Dave, Tico and Hugh, they are fantastic in their won right, and should be commended for what they have acheived. Sambora in my eyes is the best guitarist in the world, and your right is underrated. I myself went to see Bon Jovi in concert on the Bounce tour, and one word..."Breath-taking", it was without doubt the best night of my life...99.9% of the crowd were gripped to a man who has achieved so much from so little, and i quote, "It takes a good man to have it, but an even better man to use it!"

From: Alecs Redes

Well...I do not know how to start...it seems to me that you really showed your real face by reviewing bON jOVI. I won't and will not scorch you, because mother nature already did it so it would be callous from me to do it!
I really am impressed how people like you have the pose of "music knower".
You leave the impression that you understand, feel, and like music. I can and will never understand how someone will like Shakespeare and bon jovi at the same time, or manic street preachers and sandra brown! There can only be one explanation...you don't understand shit when it comes to music, literature or any other form of art! Your prejudice regarding the welsh people shows the stupidity that skirt and fills you!
if you have listened to so much music, and read so many books and are such a huge art appreciator, then you can simply not be prejudice about anything, because among many other things, art is teaching you especially N O T to be prejudice about anything!
So I can only wish that one day a form of supernatural power will touch you in an abstract way and that you will rise from your, let's say, childish sleep!

Of the albums in the world that you are really desperate to hear, chances are Bon Jovi's eponymous debut is not one of them. I can certainly think of more essential albums in the history of music. Still, in an inauspicious kind of way this isn't actually a bad debut. In fact, you might stretch to saying it is marginally good. Certainly the band play with an energy and verve that ensures generic stadium rock can still hold some sort of appeal. On top of which, they were at least OK songwriters meaning there are no desperately poor clunkers on here, even if there is only one really good song. The best thing about this album, though, lies in the vocal "abilities" of one Jon Bon Jovi. Like many a debut album his singing voice is uniformly ordinary. He's never been the greatest singer in the world but on this album his vocal range is laughably limited. Now this might just be slightly irritating if he withheld his ambitions but he obviously fancied himself as a bit of a vocal acrobat so for almost every song he tries to sing one line (usually towards to the end) an octave higher. What we therefore get is the hilarious sound of Jon laudably straining but completely missing the relevant notes. The best example of this is on "Roulette" for which he falls so far short that only his immediate family would fail to find it utterly hilarious. You can almost picture him in the vocal booth in the studio with his mullet perm, clutching his head-phones, eyes closed, belting out his hopelessly out of tune vocals. Anyway, the rest of the band are all pretty good musicians even at this stage (I think most of them were session men) so, Jon aside, this might be generic stadium rock but at least it is done quite well. There is also one bona fide hit single on here as well. If you already own the greatest hits compilation Cross Road then it probably won't surprise you to learn that it is the sole inclusion on there, "Runaway". It is almost certainly the first pop-metal song Jovi really succeeded with, with its energetic mix of staccato keyboards and distorted guitar riffs. The lyrics are actually intelligent enough to offer some sort of grasp on real-life (about a girl running away from home because her father ignored her) and Jon only embarrasses himself towards the end with another of those high-register vocal lines. The rest of the album is all a bit filler-ish and generic but all done with a reasonable level of competence. The pick of the rest is probably "Roulette" which is a bit less poppy, more metally but with a good enough melody to get by. And, believe me, you'll never cease to tire of hearing Jovi's out of tune vocals. "Shot Through the Heart" is probably the other best self-penned track with a more melodramatic feel (particularly the vocals). "Love Lies" is also pretty melodramatic but it isn't really as good. The other best song is probably the cover "She Don't Know Me". I don't know who did it originally but I'd like to think it was Foreigner or Journey or someone similar. It obviously sounds different from the rest of the material but I like the simplistic melody and the interchange between the backing vocals and Jon's lead on the chorus is pretty enjoyable. The second half of the album does retreat more into generic stadium rock territory with "Breakout", "Burning for Love" and "Come Back" all seemingly similar varieties of the same song (namely "Roulette"). Still, they aren't worse than mediocre efforts. Indeed, although I've made the point already I'll restate it, there aren't any poor songs on here, they just all pretty much sound the same. The album does at least end on its most energetic note with the up-tempo "Get Ready". I guess, most stadium rock albums end on a similar note, however. And there you have it: generic stadium rock offering little, if anything, new but at least it is competently done. "Runaway" is a really good song and I'd wager everyone should hear Jon's performance on "Roulette" at least once in their life.

Given that Bon Jovi aren't the most artistically adventurous band in the world it might not surprise you to learn that they haven't really progressed much for their second album. The material is certainly a bit more polished and confident but the album is sadly blighted by three absolutely terrible songs, where the debut was at least solid in its middling consistency. "King of the Mountain", "Silent Night" and "(I Don't Wanna Fall) to the Fire" are three of the most dire songs you're ever likely to hear. "King of the Mountain" has the dumbest, most moronic chanted chorus that I've ever heard ("I'M king of the mountain, I'M king of the hill"), "Silent Night" is a truly excruciating power-ballad (easily the worst Jovi have ever done to date) and "(I Don't Wanna Fall) to the Fire" aims to be some sort of synth-rocker but it just sounds horrible. The rest, though, is entirely passable. This album is often portrayed as some sort of stinker and whilst it is Jovi's worst album (to date - I can imagine the worst is still to come) it isn't really THAT bad. It is just wholly generic stadium rock. If you hate that sort of thing then, I warn you, you're really going to hate this album. But if you've nothing against the high art of stadium rock then this album isn't particularly poor (apart from the three stinkers). The album begins relatively strongly with three almost good songs. It opens with "In and Out of Love" which, like "Runaway" from Bon Jovi, was the biggest hit from the album and certainly the only song to feature on the Cross Road compilation. Anyway, it is a decent enough rocker, although its quality seems much higher on here than in the more intimidating company of the other greatest hits. It ain't no "You Give Love a Bad Name", that's for sure. The following "Price of Love" ain't much worse, if at all, and is another energetic stadium rocker. "Only Lonely" slows things down a little but I wouldn't really call it a ballad. Again it is a decent enough song, with a good galloping riff, even if it isn't a particularly great one. Unfortunately, just as you are starting to doubt the general critical opinion that this is a shit album the double whammy of "King of the Mountain" followed by "Silent Night" hits you and tears of agony start streaming down your face. Alright, maybe that is a bit of an over-reaction to a Bon Jovi album but it still remains an excruciating double bill. Things start to look up with another energetic rocker "Tokyo Road" but, other than the undeniable energy, it really doesn't have much going for it. It begins bizarrely with a Japanese woman singing an oriental nursery rhyme before crashing into generic stadium rock territory. As far as arty openings go it is up there with Black Sabbath's stupidest of intros (think "Sweet Leaf"). Still, there is a late rally on the album with the duo of "The Hardest Part is the Night" and "Always Run to You". Both continue in the vein of the melodramatic rock of "Shot Through the Heart", established on the debut, but both are perhaps better written numbers than the similar material on Bon Jovi. The former is probably the better although both have impressive verses with catchy enough choruses. The closing "Secret Dreams" is yet more melodramatic rock (which appears to be more concentrated on the second half, "Tokyo Road" excepted) but is a fairly weak composition with a wholly generic, albeit catchy, chorus. All in all, this ain't an album that suggests Bon Jovi were capable of anything other than generic stadium rock. The extra pretensions (the clumsy title is the temperature at which volcanic rock melts, I think) just make the whole exercise seem a bit sillier, and you've got to see the band photo on the back of the remaster. Just about the most ridiculous picture of a band I've ever seen. Anyway, if Bon Jovi are to become a good band something evidently needs to be done. Perhaps they should bring in a rock svengali to write a few tunes for them. Sound like a good idea? What do you think.

So... BANG! Bon Jovi hit their peak with this formidable achievement. Pop-metal just does not get any better than this. Of course, this album sold by the bucket-load, like most classic stadium rock albums (eg. Appetite for Destruction), as the record companies finally realised how to market Bon Jovi. Namely concentrate on the singer's good looks whilst releasing a string of ridiculously commercial, and brilliant, singles. The only problem is: how does one ensure that Bon Jovi are able to release brilliantly commercial singles, especially given over two albums only one song came anywhere near to the required standard ("Runaway")? Well, it is no secret that the band (or should that be record company?) got long-time rock producer/songwriter Desmond Child to co-write some bona fide hits with (for?) the band. Thus, we get the magnificent double header of "You Give Love a Bad Name" and, of course, "Livin' on a Prayer". Now if you're going to tell me those songs aren't good then, sir, you simply don't know music. Both are two of the most commercial rock songs ever written and deserving of their popular admiration. "Livin' on a Prayer" is obviously the best song (in their entire career) with its power-house chorus and blue-collar lyrics. Not to mention the "wow-wow" vocal effects. A little behind in popular acclaim, but hardly deserving to be, is the pop-metal masterpiece "You Give Love a Bad Name" with its misogynist lyrics, crawling metal riff and sing-along chorus. To repeat: you would simply be an idiot to deny the quality of those two numbers. The two greatest pop-metal songs ever. Both were, of course, co-written with Child but other than the power-ballad "Without Love" no other songs were. Thus you can see why I think it unfair to say the band were completely dependent on him for their material. (You might say, however, that they were dependent on him for their success as it was doubtless the two pop-metal classics that made their name.) What this also means is that the sublime "Wanted Dead or Alive" was written without Child's influence. I presume it is the third most famous song on the album with its hilarious lyrical metaphors between being on the road and being a cowboy ("on a steel horse I ride" etc.). The real lyrical coup de grace, however, is the claim "I've seen a million faces and I've rocked them all". It takes a certain moronic arrogance to sing a line like that with the utter sincerity that it is true. In fact, it probably is true but it is more the fact that they conceived of such a line in the first place that represents the real achievement. The ballad "Never Say Goodbye" is also on Cross Road but it isn't quite one of Jovi's best. I like the concealed melancholy of it, though, as you don't really realise it is a sad song but it actually is (about how he threw his life away after enjoying his youth so much). For once it actually sounds better on Cross Road in that the material on here is actually better than the tracks on the greatest hits, which is certainly an achievement. For instance, album closer "Wild in the Streets" isn't included on Cross Road (presumably it wasn't released as a single) even though it is better than most of the material on it. The verses, in particular, are great ("sometimes you talk so tough your feet don't touch the ground") and the song as a whole is a romanticised homage to Jovi's home-town of New Jersey (which he seems mildly obsessed with). The rousing swirl on the keyboards in the middle of the second verse is an inspired touch. "I'd Die for You" also isn't on Cross Road even though it is as good as most of the subsequent single releases. Again it is melodramatic, keyboard-driven rock but it has a great drive to it and is simply a well-written song. The middle-eight, in particular, is great. Indeed, for some reason, the middle-eights are often the strongest parts of the songs, "Without Love" probably having the best. Anyway, chances are if you looked up stadium rock in the dictionary it would probably refer you to "Raise Your Hands" as never have I heard a song quite so obviously written for the arena. Well, most of this album was probably written with the arena in mind as it is one of the most definitively stadium rock albums you're ever likely to hear, and certainly one of the best. If you don't like stadium rock then feel free to say this album's shit. Otherwise... well, you don't have a leg to stand on. A stadium rock, pop-metal masterpiece.

Again I find myself returning to the point I made at the beginning of the 7800 Degrees Fahrenheit review about Bon Jovi not being very adventurous artists. For this album they decide to artistically progress precisely nowhere. This album is basically another stadium rock pop-metal offering, only with less classic tunes (although still some) and the stench of unoriginality tainting the songs like... well, a bad smell. Other than the fact that this album, in spirit, is just Slippery When Wet Mk II there are many "similarities" with other songs that I have identified, entirely for your benefit of course. Firstly, they decide to rip themselves off with "Born to Be my Baby" seemingly more than a little similar to the keyboard-driven melodramatic rock of "I'd Die for You". Secondly, the closing acoustic song, "Love for Sale", bears a strong resemblance to the acoustic material on Van Halen's Women and Children First. Thirdly, whilst the song "Wild is the Wind" isn't actually a cover it of course borrows a title and some lyrics from the original (the most famous rendition perhaps being Bowie's cover on Station to Station). The opening guitar line to "Homebound Train" is lifted straight from Led Zeppelin's "In the Light" (although I'm willing to concede it might be a homage) whilst the song itself is seventies Aerosmith in format. Finally, the ballad "I'll Be There for You" audaciously uses the melody from the Beatles' "Don't Let Me Down" for the verses. If we add all this unoriginality on to the fact that the second half of the album rarely exceeds mediocrity then we are looking at one mighty poor album. Except strangely this isn't. At first listen I was fairly bemused, perhaps even offended, by the sheer moronic stadium rock of it all. After a few listens, however, I found myself pumping my fist in the air overwhelmed by the sheer energy contained within. If you ignore the cheesiness and unoriginality of it all this album, the first half in particular, is one hell of an exercise in fist-pumping jubilation. The main strength of this album lies in the first five songs, more or less. It opens with the thumping drums and keyboard intro to "Lay Your Hands on Me" before the song abruptly (although not uncleverly) turns into a riff-heavy stadium rocker. Two minutes in and already we're fist-pumping furiously (hmmm, that sounds vaguely innuendo-ish). No sooner has "Lay Your Hands on Me" finished than the almost threatening keyboards of "Bad Medicine" start up. "King of the Mountain" aside, I doubt Jovi were ever quite this moronic but, unlike with "King of the Mountain", it actually works quite well, again with more fist-pumping than you can shake a, er... fist at. Third song in and there's still no let-up as we're propelled straight into the furious fatalism of "Born to Be my Baby". To be honest, it is easy to forgive the "I'd Die for You" similarities as "Born to Be my Baby" is perhaps even superior, buoyed by its catchy "nah-nah-nah"'s. Jovi are obviously sensible enough to know we can't continue these fist-pumping histrionics for ever so for the fourth track they throw a little ballad on us, namely "Living in Sin". It ain't the greatest ballad ever but it suffices. It also seems like the bastard offspring of U2 and Springsteen; as does the following song "Blood on Blood". Funnily enough I watched a programme today in which some hack said Jon would give up his wealth just for someone to say he is as good as Springsteen but, of course, it ain't gonna happen. Now I'm no fool so I won't be making any such outlandish statements. I will, however, say, with all sincerity, that Bon Jovi are better than U2 and that Jon Bon Jovi is more talented than Bono. I mean that and I seriously believe it to be the truth. So there. Anyhow, perhaps the best track on the whole album is the U2/Springsteen homage "Blood on Blood" with wonderfully corny lyrics about how he and his mates became blood brothers. Funnily enough one's now a high-profile lawyer and the other's a doctor. Given Jovi often seems to passing himself off as a blue-collar guy it sure is funny his friends ended up with very middle-class jobs. And is it me or does every Bon Jovi song involve either losing virginity or blow-jobs in either motels or the backseats of cars? Anyway, "Blood on Blood" is a truly rousing experience any day of the week. Sadly the second half of the album ain't anywhere near as good. At best, "Stick to Your Guns" is an enjoyable cowboy-themed romp (particularly the opening delivery). The closing "Love for Sale", like I said rips off the title track of Woman and Children First, but is also infuriatingly stupid in that the boys are trying to act like they're in the middle of a really drunk party (they even say so in the sleeve-notes) but it just ends up sounding like a calculated exercise (like most things they do). Anyhow, only half of this album is really good and it is almost stunning in its unoriginality. That said, if you liked Slippery When Wet you can't go too far wrong with this follow-up effort. Which, I guess, was the point to begin with.

So the nineties hit and suddenly good old-fashioned fun rock'n'roll is banished in favour of wallowing self-indulgent dirges by the likes of Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains and co. Fortunately Jovi are better than that (or at least marketed better) so where most stadium rock bands fall by the way-side Jovi mature and improve their sound to continue (perhaps even increase) their commercial popularity. In fact I'd wager that this album and the next studio one (These Days) perhaps represent Bon Jovi's most artistically sound period (even if it isn't all that sound, overall). Their successful survival of grunge is probably as much down to marketing as it is to artistic endeavour as the record company realised something had to change. So, in place of the moronic stadium rock of New Jersey and Slippery When Wet we get slightly more mature, sensitive stadium rock. Not in the sense that they stick to ballads, as for this album there is still an immense sensation of arena rock, but the songs are written and arranged in such a way that it seems far less corny than the likes of "Bad Medicine" or "Wanted Dead or Alive". Some of the change merely falls upon the switch in Bryan's dodgy eighties synths to more subtle pianos and organs. A small touch but one that reaps massive dividends in terms of sound. There are also some more artistic flourishes, now and again, like the funk-influenced bass line on the title track and the ten-minute social commentary (well, cowboy-related social commentary) epic "Dry County". Indeed, lyrically the band have also matured with less obvious moronic sing-a-long chants and perhaps a little more social commentary (on "I Believe" and the title track) and more sensitive romantic ballads ("Bed of Roses" and the excellent "In These Arms"). We should certainly be thankful they didn't try too hard to emulate the miserable wallowings of the grunge phenomena. Anyway, like many a Bon Jovi album most of the best material is placed at the start of the album with the filler padding out the end. Actually this album is over an hour long which seems a little unnecessary with tracks like "Blame it on the Love of Rock & Roll", "Fear" and the woeful ballad "I Want You" spoiling the overall quality of the album. A slim-lined version would certainly be pushing for 9* quality and thereby putting Jovi along-side, if not above, the likes of Nirvana. As it is, the filler on this album (as well as These Days) prevent Jovi from reaching a second peak, on a par with Slippery When Wet. At any rate some of this material is absolutely top-notch. The best track on this album is probably the title track, which must rank as one of Jovi's very best tunes overall. The serious vibe to it is a welcome one and Jon's vocals are a career high. The serious quasi-funk arrangement is one of the most successful artistic touches the band have ever achieved. The second best song on the album is the up-tempo ballad "In These Arms" which, whilst not quite a career best, is certainly a career favourite for me (written without any input from Desmond Child, it is worth noting). Again, the keyboards are a little U2-ish but I can't think of a superior song of theirs. Yeah, fuck U2. The opening "I Believe" is an obvious stadium rock anthem but it still rocks soundly and the middle-eight ("don't look up to your movie screens") is superb. "Bed of Roses" is a ballad penned solely by Jon and whilst it is one of his better ones, it is perhaps foreshadowed by what was to come. This album also is privy to probably Jovi's most artistically adventurous song in the whole wide world. "Dry County" is seven seconds short of being a full ten minutes long. Now it ain't "Stairway to Heaven" (or even "November Rain") but it remains an immensely accomplished epic ballad with good piano/guitar solo interplay and a heart-felt delivery from Jon about the cowboy settlers. Again it was solely written by Jon so I reckon it stands as more proof of his adequate ability as a songwriter. The album also contains the boogie shuffle "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead" which is decent enough (although it conveniently ignores the fact that by not sleeping his life expectancy would be dramatically reduced). The incestuously themed "If I Was Your Mother" has a good rockin' base and even the filler-ish "Woman in Love" and "Fear" are both enjoyable enough stadium rock romps. "Blame it on the Love of Rock'n'Roll" and "Little Bit of Soul" end the album on a rather drawn out, albeit pleasant enough, note. The only really poor song is the nauseous ballad "I Want You" which sounds no better than the turgid shite the likes of Westlife or N'Sync churn out. But, regardless, this remains a really good album and, along with These Days, something of an artistic peak.

At this point we should momentarily abandon our talk of artistic progression as 1994 proved to be the year Bon Jovi's record label saw fit to release a Greatest Hits package on the unsuspecting public. Unsurprisingly it went on to become a massive seller, presumably one of the biggest selling CDs of the nineties and perhaps of all time. And, in a way, it is probably deserved. This isn't quite a faultless greatest hits package but it comes damn close. Bon Jovi were always, at heart, a singles band (even Slippery When Wet has its share of filler) and therefore if you are going to buy any Bon Jovi album it might as well be this one. Personally I'd urge you to get Slippery as well as if you aren't the massive fan then this and Slippery will probably suffice. I'm presuming the record company chose the track listing as it is compiled almost immaculately. When I usually review greatest hits packages I tend to quibble about the selections but there are very few quibbles, if any, to be had here. Having said that, please allow me the luxury of a few. The main mistake is the inclusion of the insipid ballad "I'll Be There for You" from New Jersey. It seems to me the obvious move would be to replace that with the far superior rocker "Born to Be my Baby" which is inexplicably missed off this album (it is better than "Bad Medicine" as well, which is included on here). This compilation also ends with a ballad, namely "Never Say Goodbye" from Slippery When Wet. Now it isn't a poor song (it's on Slippery after all) but, for what it's worth, I think finishing with "Wild in the Streets" would have been the more sensible choice. I guess the record company wanted to include more ballads than I would have liked as that is what the majority of the female fan-base want (excuse my sexist generalising). I guess "Sleep When I'm Dead" is also a rather famous omission but the Keep the Faith material on here is all superior to that number. Other than avoiding buying lesser albums there are also two good reasons to buy this compilation and they are also partly the reason this album sold so well. In effect, there are two singles on here that were released around the same time but were not included on official studio albums. They also happen to be two of Bon Jovi's best songs. Firstly there is the poppy ballad "Someday I'll be Saturday Night" with uplifting lyrics about how people down on their luck hope for an upturn in their fortunes. At any rate, a great song. Even greater is the ballad "Always" which proved to be an absolutely massive hit over here in the United Kingdom and I'm guessing was also a hit in the States. Anyway it is by far and away the best ballad Jovi ever penned (all by himself, as well) with brilliant verses and a cheesy yet tremendous chorus. Along with Guns n'Roses' "November Rain", one of the best rock ballads of the nineties and perhaps of all-time. Like "November Rain" they did a corny story-telling video for it so the MTV generation lapped it up like spilt coca-cola. It was also a canny move by the record company as it meant sales of this album were probably even higher than they would have been otherwise; because it included such a recent hit. There is also one other song on Cross Road that isn't on an official Bon Jovi album and that is the Jon Bon Jovi solo venture "Blaze of Glory". Obviously you can get hold of it on the soundtrack to the film but I imagine the rest of Jon's solo venture isn't really up to speed. The song itself borrows a little in atmospherics from "Wanted Dead or Alive" but it still does the job as a cowboy-themed stadium rocker. Other than that there isn't a huge amount to add. Obviously the first two albums only have a sole entry each but "Runaway" certainly holds its own even if "In and Out of Love" doesn't. This album is probably in millions of half-arsed CD collections owned by people who saw the "Always" video on MTV. If you're a serious rock fan, though, I wouldn't let that put you off. Along with Slippery When Wet probably the best representative of Bon Jovi's output. And, yes, that means it is good.

I remember when I bought this album I was initially very underwhelmed. Indeed, I used to joke about how bad this album is with my friends. Until, one day I turned round and said "actually, it ain't all that bad". And now, a year on, this is probably my second favourite Jovi album of the whole catalogue (behind Slippery When Wet, naturally). My initial problem (apart from the excessive length, which is still a problem) is that this album just sounds so bland. Following on from, and I'd say progressing from, Keep the Faith this album basically sees the band camped out in adult contemporary land. Obviously it is a different adult contemporary from the jazz basis of Sting's work or the sheer shiteness of Phil Collins' solo output but, with the odd exception, most of this stuff isn't really made for booming stadiums (indeed, at the concert I went to this album was ignored completely). I guess you might call it introspective and, to be fair, you wouldn't be too far from the truth. Now Bon Jovi aren't in the same artistic league as Bob Dylan so when I say introspective I'm not suggesting this is Blood on the Tracks or anything but the songwriting is almost uniformly good and the arrangements are subtle and tasteful. It might seem to lack a bit of a cutting edge but, I assure you, if you persevere past the quasi-blandness of the likes of "Lie to Me" or "This Ain't a Love Song" then you'll be rewarded with the most enjoyable of melodies. Of course, there are still the odd numbers where the blandness only succeeds in exacerbating the poor melodies ("(It's Hard) Letting You Go" in particular) but, overall, this is one inoffensive album and perhaps the most rewarding in the long term (certainly that's been the case with me). On my lists page I originally claimed this album wasn't worth listening to past the four songs (how stupid I once was!) but now I see the errors of my old ways. Sure "Damned" is a rather dumb rocker, "(It's Hard) Letting You Go" is a tedious, drawn out nothing of a song and "My Guitar Lies Bleeding in My Arms" and "Something to Believe In", whilst both being atmospheric, are rather ponderous affairs but the rest is mostly top drawer material. Actually, both the latter songs are probably two of the most introspective songs on the album. "My Guitar Lies Bleeding", lyrically, is about the Jovester being too depressed to write a happy song and "Something to Believe In" peddles a rather limited, but heartfelt, theology. Indeed, album opener "Hey God" also deals with loss of religious faith in a rather heavy-handed manner. That said, it is an energetic rocker and without really dipping into moronic stadium rock. In fact, despite my youthful dismissal of the rest of the album, the first four songs probably are the four best. "Something for the Pain" has Desmond Child's finger in the pie which guarantees it is a brilliantly infectious pop song. Similarly he also co-wrote the ballad "This Ain't a Love Song" which is another classic Jovi ballad, riding the crest of "Always"' wave. "These Days" dips back into "Keep the Faith" style social commentary but with digs at the grunge generation, which keeps me happy. The line "I guess I'd rather die than f-f-f-fade away" (spoken by a youth trying to emulate Cobain's suicide) actually manages three rock references in the single line. 1. It quotes Kurt Cobain's suicide note, 2. which in turn is a quote from the Neil Young song "My My, Hey Hey", 3. and the f-f-f-f stutter is straight out of the Who's classic, "My Generation" which echoes similar sentiments about dying young. Anyway, the title track, itself, is a sensitive semi-ballad but with a cracking arrangement and a good vocal performance from my man Jon. Indeed, Jon probably reaches a career high in terms of his vocals on this album. It is certainly a million miles away from the atonal range on their debut album. Anyway, there are still plenty of mini-highlights on the rest of the album. The fifth song, "Lie to Me", almost makes it on to the best tracks as, although boasting the very blandest of sounds, it actually has a lovely melody and an intelligent arrangement, culminating in a rousing middle-eight, complete with swirling strings. "If That's What it Takes" is a really good melodic rock song but the real coup de grace on the latter part of the album is the other melodic rock song "Hearts Breaking Even" which has been one of my favourite songs for months now. I mean it is hardly a raaaaaaawk song but it has such a lovely melody both for the verses and, in particular, the chorus. My copy of this album is the pre-remastered UK version (although God knows why they remastered a 1995 album) so I've got two bonus tracks, "All I Want is Everything" (a fairly dumb rocker) and "Bitter Wine" (another nice melodic rock song, although with yet another reference to oral sex in motels). Anyway, decent enough bonus tracks but they don't really add anything to the album and they do make it just that little bit longer. Overall, the length of this album is probably the main sticking point as if you took out the likes of "Damned", "(It's Hard) Letting You Go" and perhaps "Something to Believe In" you'd have one hell of an album on your hands. As it is, this album remains one of Jovi's finest efforts, certainly their most inoffensive and probably their most rewarding in the long run. Good work lads.

So after five years (the longest gap in their career) Bon Jovi released their first album of the new millennium looking to prove they can still keep it up in a third decade. And can they? Well... not really. Not on this evidence, anyway. Not that this is a bad album as, at this stage in their career, Bon Jovi are far too professional to release a really bad album. They know how to write decent-enough, crowd-pleasing songs so every song on here (ballads apart) crams in at least one memorable hook and the production is bland enough to avoid monstrosities like the lowest points of 7800 Degrees Fahrenheit. Still, with a break of five years you would have thought they could have written some better songs than the majority on here. I guess it is just middle-age hitting as very few rock bands really produce good stuff upon reaching their forties (disregarding solo artists, for whatever reason). My main problem with this album (apart from the boring songs and bland production) is main man Jon Bon Jovi. Firstly, his singing is really far, far poorer than his career-high of These Days, he sounds much croakier and is again struggling to reach the higher notes, but mainly I have a gripe with his personality. Gone is the fun-loving poser of Slippery When Wet and New Jersey and in his place we have a man seemingly going through a mid-life crisis, struggling to come to terms with his middle age (cf. "Just Older"). He also seems to have become obsessed with not having a university education, just witness the sheer shiteness of the opening to "Save the World" (which is a terrible song regardless): "I never went to college, I don't have a degree. You can say I went to night school - I learnt all I know on the streets." All of a sudden Jon thinks he's Ice Cube or someone. More likely he learnt his lessons in hair salons. What happened to you Jovi, you used to be cool? And you should hear the way he sings the lines, as well. Truly horrendous vocals. It is interesting as to why this album should be such a come-down from These Days but I reckon it comes down to ambitions. This album is definitely aimed at the stadiums again with plenty of anthemic songs and the most blatant of attempts to re-live past glories. Right from the word go we hear those familiar "wow-wow" vocal effects and the majority of Jovi fans are delighted and the more pompous ones, such as myself, start muttering about compromising artistic integrity. To be fair, "It's My Life" is actually a pretty good song although given "Livin' on a Prayer" is a great one it would be hard to make a carbon-copy rip-off into a bad song. Still, the lyric "like Frankie said: 'I did it my way'" always makes me laugh. In some respects Jovi are as moronic as ever. "It's My Life" might be the best song but I prefer the second track "Say it Isn't So" if only because it isn't such an obvious rip-off. It has a nice melody, at any rate, even if it struggles to match the melodic rock on These Days. "Captain Crash and the Beauty Queen from Mars" is an obvious homage to David Bowie and thankfully it isn't an offensively poor song. Indeed, it isn't even a poor song with a nice, bouncing rhythm to it. Finally, the closing track "One Wild Night" is a decent stadium rocker although utterly contrived. The muzak intro also sounds bizarrely like the intro to the Kinks' "Phenomenal Cat". I'd wager there are five ballads, give or take, on the album and all of them are near to being the worst tracks. Single "Thank You for Loving Me" is obviously the best but it doesn't hold a candle to Jovi's best ballads; "Save the World" is clearly the worst song on the album; and "Mystery Train" and "She's a Mystery" seem to be much the same song and therefore both bad, with grating vocals by the Jovi-man. "Next 100 Years" aims at being some sort of chant-along epic which builds up into a furious guitar solo. Unfortunately, it just sounds terribly cliched and also a lot like that shit Oasis single, "All Around the World" was it? Similarly "I Got the Girl" strives for an infectious hook for the chorus but, to me, it just sounds horribly contrived. The rest, though, are all decent enough. "Two Story Town" aims at a bit more serious social commentary and whilst it is an alright song you can imagine it had Tom Petty on the phone to his lawyers fairly sharpish. Still, you can almost imagine what his lawyer said: "wait a minute, Tom, you want to sue SOMEONE ELSE for ripping YOU off...?". And, although its sentiments are horribly vain "Just Older" is actually a pretty good song. The funny thing is, this is hardly the end of the Jovi chapter. There was a live album, One Wild Night released in 2001 which received mixed reviews (so I'm in no hurry to buy it) and in the autumn of 2002 their new album Bounce is due out. I bet there's some post September the 11th classics on it and all. I can hardly wait. Anyway, let's hope it is better than this offering: half of it is OK, half of it isn't and the whole thing adds up to one uninspired, underwhelming album.

Well I'll be fucked... Bon Jovi had a good album left in them after all. I honestly don't think I've ever been as surprised by a quality of a newly released album as I was after listening to this for a while. Obviously I was preparing myself for the worst, after Crush's dazzling mediocrity, and promotional single "Everyday" hardly promised any significant improvement. As it is, releasing "Everyday" as the first single was perhaps the worst marketing mistake they've made for a while as it is, at best, the third worst song on here. The great thing is the band seem to have realised that their two nineties albums were pointing in the right direction after all so they've, more or less, abandoned the throwbacks to their stadium rock heyday, and combined the gritty guitar histrionics of Keep the Faith with the intelligently arranged adult contemporary of These Days. At a push, I'd say there are two slightly disappointing aspects regarding this album, and perhaps three, depending on how you look at it. Firstly, Jon Bon's vocals have not noticeably improved from the croakiness of Crush and therefore the band seem to have gone full circle, from the shit vocals of their debut to the pretty shit vocals on here. Secondly, there are no real classic tracks on here to match the highpoints of Keep the Faith (the title track, "In These Arms") and These Days ("Something for the Pain", "This Ain't a Love Song" and "Hearts Breaking Even"). On the other hand, this is one of the most consistent records Jovi have ever released (perhaps behind Slippery When Wet) with, at most, three tracks letting the side down. The debatable third disappointment is that out-of-band help is enlisted for two thirds of the tracks on here. Desmond Child is on hand as always, as is the Swede (?) Andreas Carlson and someone with the none-more-showbiz name Billy Falcon. Obviously it is damaging to the "Bon Jovi are great artists" argument but, given you're facing a losing battle taking that on, I think it reflects a perfect consolidation of their rock professionalism and, let's face it, I doubt this album would be even half as good without the help of professional song-writers. Actually, to be fair, the four tracks written solely by the band aren't bad songs but the best songs on here are the collaborations. As I said earlier, the production and arrangement for this album is absolutely spot-on. The ballads are usually given a subtle string backing (never getting in the way, but adding infinite class to proceedings) whilst the rockers feature some great riffing from Sambora. Indeed, given Jon's waning vocal ability Sambora is probably the most important contributer. His solos are naturally competent, he throws in some excellent melodic guitar parts for the ballads and opening track "Undivided" features the heaviest Bon Jovi riff in their entire career. Ah yes... "Undivided" the album's no-holds-barred Sept. 11th classic. Thankfully, the lyrics are amazingly open-minded, basically saying the tragedy of the events is not just in the American loss of life but also the thousands of innocent Afghans who died as a result of America's retributive bombing campaign... Oh obviously I'm joking but you'd hardly expect a band so inexplicably proud of being Nu Joisey boys would ignore an All-American tragedy on their own doorstep. But at least they don't venture into gung-ho vindicativeness, like Neil Young's repulsive "Let's Roll", even if I'm hardly impressed by such patriotic chest-beating. Lyrics aside, the song's a cracker with the metallic, grinding riff and a singalong chorus. If "It's My Life" was a "Livin' on a Prayer" rip-off you might think of "Undivided" as a "Keep the Faith" homage. Of course, the reason this album is so superior to Crush is this very fact that they are looking more to their immediate past, rather than past-glories long gone. The best song on here is perhaps the power-ballad "The Distance" which instantly recaptures the success of These Days. Running it close, though, is "Love Me Back to Life", another power-ballad equally impressive in its good hooks and intelligent arrangement. And if "Everyday" was a poor choice of single the obvious replacement should have been "Misunderstood" which is a wonderfully catchy song that just manages to escape the fact that it is ripped off from Neighbours' starlet Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn". This being a Bon Jovi album there are two piano ballads dealing with tales of blue-collar Joes (both being solely in-band efforts). Lyrically, "Joey" seems to deal with Jon having a dumb mate when he was a kid but he still never let him down (all the girls go "ahhhh...") and "Right Side of Wrong" is pure Jovi cheese about a down-on-his-luck bloke doing a bank-job so he and the wife can live the life in Mexico. The story progresses through the verses whilst the chorus refers back to his dream of living in Mexico "singing cowboy songs". Of course, all does not go as planned and the filth gun him down in the getaway car. "Joey" probably edges it as the better song but "Right Side of Wrong" does have a killer arrangement. There are also a couple of understated acoustic numbers, "You Had Me From Hello" and "Open All Night", which are perfectly pleasant and feature nice enough melodies. The only real low-points on the album are the rockers ("Undivided" apart) with "Everyday" being unexceptionally generic, "Hook Me Up" even more so and the title track being a really awful song, notable only for Jovi chickening out of singing the word "fuck". Otherwise, though, I've nothing to complain about. Ditching the ill-advised pillaging of their eighties career was the smartest thing they could have done; the second smartest thing probably being a hiring of outside songwriters. It is not entirely brilliant, and it lacks Greatest Hits, but, at this stage in their career, it is probably the best they could have achieved. Let's hear it for Bon Jovi: the world's finest corporate rock band carrying on in fine form in a third decade. Hip hip...

Some time back I lost my enthusiasm for stadium rock and with it my partiality towards the likes of Aerosmith and Van Halen. But, for some reason, I still found myself listening to the odd Bon Jovi album and, still, I couldn't help but raise a smile when the likes of "Someday I'll Be Saturday Night" and "In These Arms" came on (and I am unflinching in regarding the latter as one of the best singles of the 90s). In essence, they're a pop band and great pop is universal and timeless. However, it is this insistence on putting the 'pop' in 'pop metal' that has led to the band breaking their at least adequate quality control and releasing the worst album of their career (to date, I fear). I might have liked Bounce but it appears no-one else did as it underperformed commercially, which most critics attributed to its sombre post-9/11 mood. I actually think the ballads on it were some of their most impressive post-Crossroad material but it seems everyone else was simply demanding another "It's My Life". So Bon Jovi acquiesced and gifted us not just one anthemic singalong but a whole album of them! As These Days and Bounce have proved, Bon Jovi are on best form as an AOR soft-rock band since reaching their age of 'maturity' (with Crossroad proving to be the perfect marker). Any attempts since to recreate or at least reprise their pouting stadium rock past have been creaking, uninspired moronic singalongs, lacking the verve and enthusiasm that allowed them to pull them off in the past and certainly without the joyous melodic hooks of their best such efforts ("Livin' on a Prayer", "You Give Love a Bad Name", et al). So it is that nearly every song on this album sets out with an up-tempo, sometimes vaguely menacing verse before erupting into an obviously anthemic chorus with flatulently pithy catchphrases (for instance, 'when the world gets in my way I say "have a nice day", 'welcome to wherever you are/this is your life, you've made it this far', 'this is the story of my life and I write it everyday'). I realise criticising Bon Jovi for being cheesey is kinda like criticising the Pope for being Catholic but their attempts to write uplifting lyrics after the relative negativity of Bounce has resulted in easily their most moronic set of verse to date. Despite the tight jeans, long hair and sunglasses this is a group of men the wrong side of forty and, personally, I'd be rather embarrassed to put my name to lyrics a young child would ridicule. That said, JBJ obviously also tried to cash in on the recent Dylan wank-fest with references to 'sailor's mouths', 'when I paint my masterpiece' and the title "Bells of Freedom". As with Bounce the band bring in some professional songwriters to ease the album-making process. Old friend Desmond Child is still around, as is Billy Falcon from the last album, but it is surely new boy Mr. John Shanks that is primarily responsible for the brain-dead anthemic angle. The production is an undistinguishable mush of over-compression and the band overload the harmonies in an obvious attempt to reinforce Jon's creaking vocal power (and he still manages to throw in some excruciating mannerisms). If we must talk positives "Wildflower" is a passable soppy string-laden ballad and "I Want to Be Loved" and "Last Man Standing" manage to scale down the cotton-wool choruses with something a little more downbeat on the former and menacing on the latter. That said, how on earth did they think Sambora's talk-box effect on "I Want to Be Loved" would sound anything other than a dated and cheesey throwback to their peak twenty years ago? Mind you, one suspects they are almost completely uninterested in maintaining any sort of contemporary artistic independence. This album was probably only tossed out because they needed a 'product' to promote on tour, reducing them solely to the level of a corporate profit-making exercise. One would like to think they'd pack it up for the sake of their critical reputation but that is pretty much the equivalent of thinking McDonald's will call it a day because they don't have any Michelin stars.

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Email me at: jackfeeny@yahoo.co.uk